The Last Post

To the people that visit this blog,

THANK YOU!

I want to say that whoever had been visiting, liking and sharing this blog, thank you. It mean so much to me that people actually read it XD. You made my day happier.

I don't want to write in here anymore. Not because I don't want to, but because I want to preserve this blog from my future self, I guess. This blog was created when I was 12 with a group of friends and now, we all are 19 and busy with our future. I don't want to delete this blog. I love it and I love the posts, the memories that I had made when I was in my teens.

Can't believe I am going to degree soon...

But, don't fret! I am still writing. Just in another website that I made for my own. 

So, this blog's purpose would be to inspire others. I want my old post to inspire others to do good. Inspire others to think and write and be themselves. So, read, my dear followers. Read and cringe at my ridiculous grammar and my teen's angst. So, read this blog when you feel down. When you feel like you can't move on. I guess I would read this blog back too from time to time.

This blog would be another end of one chapter in my life. Now, I will open a new one. 

It seem redundant to make a new blog. But, it was essential to me. I hadn't been coping well with my present because I kept clinging on the past, wishing I was still young. Wishing I was still innocent. 

But, I am not that girl anymore. 

I had grown. 

And even though I am letting go of the past, I will always remember the days when I was young. Not to feel regret over it, but to be happy with what I had become. 

Let this blog be a repository of memories and let this blog inspire others to be themselves as well, Insya Allah.

Wish Well Wisher,

signing out for the last time. 

What is a hero, to you?

What defines a hero?

Yesterday was the last day of school and I might be sad to leave Form 4 but I am excited to be on holiday mode. I can do a lot of stuff that I had been planning the whole year. I have a month and a week holiday and I am going to make sure that spend it the best as I can. 

So, I watched this cool TV show called "The Number's Game." It was a show on how to be someone or something according to the recent statistics. This show interact with the viewers by asking us quizzes ask us to do some test if we are qualify to be the special someone. On that day, it was showing how to be a hero.

I want to be a hero. 

So, what defines a hero? Most people imagines that a hero is someone who has those cool superpowers or maybe someone who achieves great things or maybe the fastest man on Earth. In "The Number's Game," it defines hero as someone who can see something was amiss while others can't see it. In a book called The Fault in Our Stars, Gus defines hero as someone who notices things, paying attention. So, to you, what is a hero?

I was contemplating the idea of making a hero club. You know, like "Big Hero 6." I would invited the students of my school, the one that I know and the ones I know for sure have the potential to be a hero.

I was just so sick of how adults perceive us teenagers. They said, these teenagers were bad, they 're on drugs, they're skip school, don't do homework, disrespectful, and blah, blah blah. Seriously, not all of us like that. That's the thing, you know, there are some of us that are introvert, quiet to be notice, a bookie, someone that's nice and well, someone that is religious. These people are a small percentage of the society and well, we should all stand up and do something to change what society think teenagers as a whole. 

Yes, these people that doesn't seem to exist, the side-effect of the teenage society. We should all stand up and make us the general of teenage society. 

Everybody can be a hero. In the "Number's Game," there are three characteristics of being a hero; don't be a bystander and take action when there's a problem, pay attention to your surroundings and knowing what to do when hero's chemical (adrenaline) kicks in.    

So, you can be a hero. Just be confident and do it. 

Happy nearly ending November!

Wish Well Wisher

Motivation

I didn’t even realize that I need motivation all along.

School is nearly ending. Exams are coming its way to the doorsteps of my peace. PT3/PMR and SPM are nearing.

This is what I call, end-of-the-year-in-Malaysia. Pretty stressful, isn’t it?

Therefore, the schools hired a very over-the-top motivator, Doctor Tengku Asmadi.  You guys, if you don’t know him, either you are non-Malaysia or you just don’t listen to the Malaysian radio or watch the Malaysian TV too much.

I am not going to write his biography here. It will just bore you. But, here’s what I know. He was born in a poor family in Terengganu, Malaysia and dreamed to become a doctor one day. He works VERY hard to get there and he successfully achieved his ambition. When he looked back through all his hard work and the generation that is growing right now, he thought he could change the world by changing and motivate the roots: the students. He doesn’t want to see his generation grew up regretting their life. No, he doesn’t. So, he left his current job and became one of the greatest motivator in Malaysia.

I cannot express my happiness, my shock when the teacher told us that he is coming. It was like a dream come true. His motivation could make you feel like…I can do this shit no matter whatever shit comes in the way!

After all this time…really, I thought I was okay. I thought I can do it no matter what. I thought I could heal. But, I didn’t know I need motivation.  I didn’t know I was not okay.

So, he came. He came and enlightens me. He came and shouts in front of the stage. He came and MOTIVATES me. He came and changed me. He came and told me I could do it.

Technically, he told the whole school, but…who cares?

Here’s the thing: Always and I say it again ALWAYS motivate yourself every SINGLE day. I do mean it. Motivate and think positive because if you don’t, in three days, you’ll be more depressing than the grey clouds of the rain. Always wake up with a positive thinking.  Be thankful that you are alive when you wake up. Mornings are the beginnings of the day. Never start the beginnings with something bad. Start over. Yesterday, you are different. Today, you are different. Start with a smile.

When someone freaking insults you, telling you’re ugly, telling you’re dumb, fat, retard, or whatever, DON’T SLAP THEIR MOUTH’S WITH A CHAIR! I know you want to do it, but DON’T.

Instead say, “SO WHAT?”

And leave, like a BOSS.

This is a way for you to Stand up for yourself. Don’t leave that insult hanging on to you the whole day. It will make you effing crazy. And when you crazy, you will do crazy shtuff, like suicide or hurting yourself or eating drugs or well, DANGEROUS STUFF.

Let it go, like whatever Elsa says.

Seriously, I don’t think I like Elsa that much, but she got a point.

Try your best and do your very best in every aspect in life possible. I know you must think you are suck with everything, but…everybody has a talent. Just be Yourself. Talent will show when you live positively, happily, smartly, and yourself-ly. J Smile every day. Don’t let problems take you down in a deeper abyss. Fight them with your super awesomeness, your super techy gaming skills, your reading-ness, your geeky-ness, your nerd-ness, your smartness, yourself.

Tell yourself you can do it.

 “I CAN DO IT! AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME FROM EVER ACHIEVING MY DREAMS!”

And for all of you Muslims out there, come back to Allah. Allah is your protector. Pray that everything can get better. Pray for strength, for happiness, for peace. Put your trust in Allah because nothing will ever happen except what He ordained for us. Your problems are there because Allah trusts you that yes, you are strong enough, yes, you can do it and yes, you can get through it.  

You and I came a long way. 

We can do it. 

We can make the world a better place 

Happy October!

Well, I know it's a day early but... Happy Birthday Dat Nguyen!

Wish Well Wisher

Put me beside you

I don't want to spoil this, but I have finish exams for three weeks.

Hehehe...

Surprise! I'm alive and well everybody. I'm having a holiday today and today will be my last week of holiday.

I don't really want to go back to school, but I don't want to stay in the house any longer.

It's making me crazy.

Anyway, facing school is worse than facing screaming siblings. Don't you think?

I'm afraid of being too proud to my friends. They kept compliment about me thus self-pitying themselves. I could see in their eyes that they want to do more, but someone's blocking their way. I want to help them, but will they accept my help?

One of my ways to be humble is to smile and say thank you. Try to help people around you and give them a push to success. 

I'm uncomfortable when I'm the only one standing in the field of success. I want to help the people below me, so I won't be alone there. I want my friends to be beside and savoring the success with me.

Don't you see, my friends, I am nothing without you. Don't try to put me up front or behind. 

Put me beside you. Don't leave me.

Please.

Wish Well Wisher

Be a champion! For me, please...

You guys wouldn't mind if I was too busy, right?I know, you guys wouldn't be because I bet you are busy yourself.

Next week is my midterm and I know I had wasted my time writing this for you people, but this day is my closure day and I won't be checking Internet until next month. Don't be sad. I know you guys wouldn't mind yourself that I only be gone for a month. You won't miss me. I know you won't.

The school is killing me with their, I have no idea, 'school powers.' They prolonged the test for three weeks! FOR THREE !@#$%^& WEEKS!  No, WAY I could survive THAT long. Well, it will be long run and you know, if I survive I'll see you guys next month.

Sometimes when I see myself and look back towards my hard brittle past, I thought, "I survive?" And it will always be a pondering question to me and I will always thought about how did I do it. I always felt nostalgic and I have no idea if it's good or bad or just a bunch of two good and bad bunch up together.

Teenager life is hard and I admit sometimes that I don't really want to see how tomorrow looks like, but I move because I had to or I'll be running of out time. Sometimes when I see little kids watch one of those silly shows that characterized as high school boys and girls, but still sound like an eight-year old kid show, I felt disgusted. How can the world be so cruel to children by telling lies about how teenagers live their life? Seriously, when I look at those shows at how their girls seemingly falling for cute boys and prom and boring teachers and bullies, I thought, "That's not even half true!"

It's so wrong...Why the world is so wrong?

I want to be a champion some day. Maybe, not to people, but in my eyes I will be. Not because it's so great to become one. But, it's for other people who also wants to be a champion. To the people who many people had looked down upon and wrongly judged by people eyes. I want to be those champions so that when people look at me, they said, "I shouldn't have underestimate at her in the first place."

So, to the people of the world, old and young, smart or dumb, bad-ass or smart-ass, rich or poor, or the people in between, and yes, I had always been people in between,  let's rise up and let the world see that we can be champion!

Here's some YouTube vid for you, just to get your hopes up. Heheh...I was trying to get my hopes too. There's some lyrics that I don't entirely agree, but it's a good song nonetheless.

My favorite part was, "Doing it for your country," :)
Smiles to the people who's doing exams next week. Gosh, I am so worried...
Anyway, hopes up people, it's May!
And I will see you in June (If I survive) If I don't survive, please send condolences over here at my bloggy. (Just kidding)
Wish Well Wisher

'I dont think I belong here...yet"

I remember the last time I thought, "I don't belong here."

Well, I know you guys out there might kill me if I show my face to you because I had been blogging for a quite a long while. I have a lot of homework and a lot of chores and a lot of things...Oh, you get it. I was busy.

But, right now, I am here and that's what matter most. Today and now.

Right now, my family on my mother side is having a gathering and since I couldn't help in the kitchen and the only person who is my age is a boy, I sit upstairs and writing this wonderful blog. I started to remember days when I was at Denver. Good days and sad days even. But, sad days come first.  I remember the time when some people hate me for being there when I was in seventh grade and I remember the days when I was lonely at TJ. And I always remember the thoughts cruising in my head, how I never belong here and how I stupid, how I pitying myself. Well, I am not self-pitying myself right now but this is the truth.

And then, one faithful day, in Malaysia, when I was doing something that I didn't remember, I thought the same thing that was written up there.

Then, I thought,I never totally belong anywhere, am I? I was different from the first day I started my school until now. I was different in some way that well, different.

DIFFERENT.

 Gosh, I don't know. I just don't know why I choose to feel sad about this different ness.

I remember the time when I want to take a different approach for this school year. I don't want to be the crowd. I want to be someone who is in front of the crowd. Someone who leads the crowd.

Then, it did happened. I don't know what I chose to be in that kind of position. I just say, yes. It changed my life. Every thing. Then, I read Kak Kamalia's latest post and now, I understand what it's like to be here. To be depend on, to be a leader, and the pressure. Damn, the freaking pressure. You just don't want to fall in front of this people that you love.

Wish Well Wisher.
It's short but...You get what I mean.
Happy February!

Looking back at Sri Ayehsa

My brother asked me last night, "Why don't you go back to Sri Ayesha?"

I smiled at that question and said, "That's a very good question. You know what, the answer will be in my blog."

The idea of writing it didn't came until today when I visited Sri Ayesha. If you guys want to know, Sri Ayesha is a school that I attended to when I was year 4 (4th grade) until year 6 (6th grade). You might as well say that Sri Ayesha had teach me a lot of things but it wasn't enough to mature me. But, I like the school nonetheless.

It was a very quick visit because I only came to pick up my siblings, but you might as well say many things did happened. Sri Ayesha was so different yet still the same. I don't know what's the difference,but I could feel it in my heart. It is so weird to be back to a place that you supposedly belong, but didn't feel the belonging. That's how I feel. A foreigner. You might as well accused me crazy, but I could not deny the feeling of uneasiness and anxiousness. 

Really, I plan my visit to be a happy fun times thing. It will be full of rainbows and unicorns and lush green flowery view, but nope. I felt ridiculous, vulnerable and stupid. So, I asked my best friend's sister to go find my little sister. But before that, I met one of teachers when I was year 4. My BM teacher. She was shocked to see me again and yeah, she asked me a question, "Which school did you go to?" When I answer, I cannot help the feeling of regret. I thought why my school didn't sound so good and professional like MRSM or a boarding school? I met with my sister and when upstairs to find my brother.

My brother is being a complete dick and his friends are also dicks and well, basically all boys are a dick to me except my father. Hey, if it sounds offensive to you, then, I'm sorry, you lousy dicks. I know the girls and boys have separate class in secondary, but I didn't know it's forbidden to go there. I was thinking, that's silly. How I am supposed to get my brother if he was in the other side of the hallway? I was like F you rules I didn't go in this school anymore and let's get this boy and leave. I know it was stupid of me to think of that, but really, I could tell this visit is not going the way I was planning to. 

My brother's friends is being disturbing for not letting me get my brother. Really, I know he is there. He just laugh his head off when I entered the room. They thought they could lie to me, so I could downstairs to find him my brother? Do they think I am stupid? Really, boys, I bet you don't know what are the organelles in a cell.  I strode in there and they visage changed like, "Hey, you cannot come in here!" "She's coming! She's COMING!" "Forbidden, girl, get out." I get my brother but he keep stalling! Talking to his friends like there's no one waiting for him! My little sister was acting like a five year old and I cannot stand when she act like that. Disrupting my progress of getting out of here and you know what happened next? There's this boy just walking past and my sister pointed at him and said, "He's your boyfriend!" I was like damn it. My sister is being embarrassing to me again! I didn't know that guy's name and she just shouted like that! Doesn't she have a thought that I and whoever that guy is have feelings! Really, whoever you, the guy, are, I am truly sorry. I was hoping my unluckiness will end but nope. There's a dick bloody A-hole saw me. 

This guy recognized me in some way and he said, "Huh, you still exist.," and strode away like he didn't have a care for the world. Curses were playing in my head, directing to him. Hey, that guy use this tone of voice that made me want to punch him in his face! You might say I am violence or bad but no! Just no! He have no respect in women! He is being a dick to me and I don't like it! Now, I realized I should be off. I want to be off and away. You know what guy, I am going to apologize you for your....disrespect. But, revenge is bittersweet. I am sorry that I don't your name or recognized you, but if I did, I would have post all around the world that you have no respect to me. 

I cannot believe my little childhood school had become a hell. I wish my visit had become a little bit happy. You know, just a little bit. I didn't even find my friends or anything. I was wondering if they even remember me. I was wondering if the teachers even remember me. I don't know. I was hoping to see all my teachers on that visit, but it didn't went that way. 

My brother's question was the same question that he ask me a long time ago. I was, "Why don't you want to go back to Denver?" My reason will be the same. I really want to go back to Sri Ayesha, but I know I didn't belong there. People there they know each other and I know if I went back they will all like "Fatihah!" and then after a moment or two, they went back to their friends. I know that because it happen to me when I first came back from US and I went to my neighborhood school. They act exactly like that. I don't want to have that feeling again. The feeling of knowing that you know this people but that people is not making themselves know me better. I do have friends in Sri Ayesha but I bet they rather spend more time with their friends rather than me who just somehow disappear from Malaysia for two and half years and somehow reappear again. Anyway, I didn't leave a legacy at Sri Ayesha. I bet no one wants to see my unlegacy face and action in Sri Ayesha. Eri, Wani and Kak Kamalia leave a legacy and you could see it because their face is everywhere in the school. 

Man, I don't get how my brother get along with people so well. Maybe, he is a boy and I am self-pitying myself. Huh, I been self-pitying myself for the whole time in this blog. Anyway, I want to send something to you guys before I leave. Please have a respect towards girls because you might not know that the girl you just tease might kick you in the balls and flip the middle finger at you. Second, don't self-pitying yourself like me. You don't go anywhere if you self-pitying yourself. Really, just think you can do it. But, don't overconfident. Three, you need to learn more about legacy. Legacy is big or small imprint that you left behind and yeah, I am self-pitying myself that I didn't leave a legacy in Sri Ayesha. I am really sure I didn't leave a legacy behind because I didn't do something big. I got average on everything. I bet my teachers were like, "Umm...do you remember this kid who is normal and average every time?" Shucks, all I want to say is be yourself to leave a legacy. You might say "no, it doesn't work" but believe me, I am myself when I was schooling at US and I didn't know I will get that much attention. And yes, I leave a legacy behind there and I hope my friends and teachers will remember me, as the first Malaysian to go to TJ and one of the smartest, kindest, different person they ever know.

Hey, I didn't self-pitying myself in the end. 

Well, I wish you all have a nice wonderful day.

Wish Well Wisher    

A situation that makes most people "Uh...What should I do?"

There's this one situation that happened to me a few days ago. It takes time for me to think about this situation. I went it again and again in my head and I couldn't make sense to it. The situation was like...a message or somewhat. I cannot place it in my mind and it keep whirling around me and so, I talk to my father about it. As I try to get some sleep last night, with my father thoughts echoing around my mind, I thought that this situation was a decent thing to write in my blog today.

It was school at that day and I was sitting down at my desk, reading my textbook while waiting for the teacher to show up. Then, this asshole guy show up at the front of desk. Well, he's lucky that I don't know his name or not I would post his name on here with big bold red letters. Anyway, he asked me what I got for PMR. It is a routine that I do and it's kind of inevitable to not to say, "Oh, I didn't take PMR." Before I could even finish my sentence, he cut off and said, "Hah! You don't take PMR," and stalked off. Most of the time, I would have felt offended or cried because I have a sensitive soul. But, instead, surprisingly, I smiled at myself and said, "Funny."

As I replay that situation again and again, I felt like I should have said something better like "F you in the A and have a nice day," like Markiplier did when he was some of his games or meet some ghosty-goo. But, I rethink again. I might have offend that guy. I don't like breaking hearts, not even a scratch. I know he is a boy and a dick, but offending people was not my thing to do.

So, let's say you in a situation that makes you say this one comment and somehow the person whom you're talking too pulls a sour face. What do you do? Do you just leave it and pretend, "Oh, I didn't see that,"? Or, you'll say your sorry? People in the right minds would have said their sorry, but some people are so clueless in their surroundings that they even know they had offended someone and that's a sin. Well, to me in most part. You have to be aware what's happening around you, so you don't make a silly mistake...or a permanent one.

If you have offended someone, say your sorry. I know the person you just offended will say, "It's okay," but you don't know what he or she thinking at that time, so make your sure your sorry sound genuine or give a reason why you made that comment. Really, "sorry" is powerful because "sorry" doesn't mean "Oh, yeah I offended you sorry, won't happen again." I know it means like that, but it has MORE meaning. "Sorry" it's a way of rebuilding the relationship or connection between you and the other person. Okay, let's say your is a picket fence and you some guy. You had offended someone. It will looks like you had destroyed the picket fence. When you say your sorry, it will looks like that you are rebuilding the fence back. Something like that.

Okay, let's say you end up in this situation like me only worse. People bully you and someone make some stupid crappy jokes about you. The first thing you have to keep in mind was not to use violence. Violence doesn't answer everything. Of course, you have to stand up for yourself, but really don't punch the person in the face. It will make you end up in the principal office or jail. You have to use something funny to ward off those stupid jokes. Say something funny or something reassuring that makes the bully think, "Aw, this is not fun." Okay, let's say you are not some guy who makes jokes. It is best to tell an adult or a reassuring friend about this problem, so both you and the person you consult with find the solution of the problem. Remember don't put a problem at the back in your mind. Solve the problem today.

Happy January People!
Happy School year too!
Wish Well Wisher

My Review of 2013

It’s December 31, 2013 and tomorrow or at least at 12 midnight tonight 2014 dawns in our lives. I felt that time flied so fast this year, but I know a lot of things happened and it will all become my cherish memories.

I rarely shared my personal life to anybody and I sometimes hesitate to tell my friends and family what happened and what my feelings are. But, today I felt that I should share to you guys what happened to me in this 2013 year, you know like what google and YouTube did. Looking back into the year, picking out one of the best and memorable events of my 2013 life.

On January 2013, when the state I was living in US, was filled with snow, the second term of my high school started. One thing that I remember the most at that time frame was that instead I have JROTC as an elective, I have art. I love art. You could see it clearly in my blog. Although it doesn’t look professional, I love doing it when I have no idea what to do. But, I felt this belonging when I think about JROTC. I know I had no place in the army or in the US, but JROTC changed me. It found my friend that I hang out every day throughout my freshman school year.

So, I decided to go back to JROTC. Even though it is strict and we had to wear uniforms every Tuesday, it doesn’t matter because I have my friend and I know I belong there with the students who have low grades. I’m not sure that I picked the right choice until one day major asked me if I want to be S1. I have no idea what is that at that time until Sergeant told me that S1 is someone who keep up with the Cadets file and all those keeping files in computer stuff. It was an easy job actually but you have to do it with accuracy and come to think of it I have to keep up with about 300 cadets’ files. Many, of course, but it is a sign that my teachers are starting to trust me.

From February to April, it is just school. I remember that I was getting ready with the S1 job. I could feel that my sophomore year was going to be a great year and I cannot wait for it. Of course, there’s the part that my friend will move to somewhere. That was the only sad part for my sophomore next year but I could make new friends now that I had confidence. I was having fun at this time frame. The Interact club was going to help my country and I will be the leader in that project. My parents actually give me a phone that I can use and call people. I don’t really have grand time in tennis though but I made many friends and gain many experiences. Every week it snow. I had an eye on some guy that I had no nothing about. Yes, it was fun and that’s when I feel the high school feeling.  Learn, study, make friends, fall in love, sports, test.

Oh, yes…test. I sometimes have stress about it, but I know I could get it through. May is the month that is full of test. Not just school test but also life test. The school test was fine. I get A’s for all of my subjects and I got 2 for my AP test. I did a mistake in the AP test and I learn from it. I just hope I am not stupid enough of not doing it again. This month was also the month when I get to know that my family and I are moving back to Malaysia. When my mom told us that, I was full of mixed feelings. I am happy that we are going back home, but I was sad that I am going to leave US. I was sad that I never got to get that S1 job. I was sad that I cannot learn more of CCT stuff. I was sad that I cannot continue the best Taekwondo class ever. I was sad that I could never live in the new house that we just moved in.

June dawn. We were packing like crazy because stupid effing Petronas give us so little time to pack. But, it doesn’t matter. We are going home. There’s no place like home.

August to November was nothing but a breeze. The fasting month went and gone. Eid was fun and memorable with new members of the family. I went to the school that I went to when I was Form 1. Nothing change that much. I met some old friends and some new friends. I find someone to crush on and also someone to jealous on. I don’t feel different because there IS a kid like me. You know, moving from another school to this school. In coincidence, she had the same name as mine! The only difference I am not going to take PMR and she will. I miss being different. To be the only one who wears hijab in the class. To be the only one that had such inexplicable name to say. To be the only one who have a name that has a meaning. To be respected and known by teachers.

I have no experience in PMR. You might laugh at this. I am not lucky not to take PMR. I am unlucky. Not to experience was unluckiness.

December. Season Holidays in US. Malaysia…nothing but staying at home and do some chores. I am not excited for the next school year either hate it. I feel bleh. I would like to learn the new stuff, but I need to get myself together. I need to accept reality. I need to find out my approach for the next school year.

PMR results. Congratulations to my very best friend. She got 8 A’s. I felt so happy for her. I felt so happy for everyone that took PMR. I am so happy that they had the courage to take PMR, not like me. A coward.

My 2013 year is and was eventful.  The first year was one of the happiest things in my life. My teachers believing in me had a powerful feeling in me and I really want to thank them to believe in me. As it goes on, it was started to dull me and made me rebellious which is uncommon for me. I want to stay in US, but I know it already change the minute that I left. I am trying my best to accept that I am here in Malaysia, not living in the powerful US anymore. Pray for me… that I could accept this.

Well, that’s pretty long. I hope you guys don’t mind. Here’s a YouTube video that gives a review of 2013. Well, in YouTube anyway, not real life.

Lol...I like this video..

Okay I have a big sense of what's happening around the world. I felt is a sin not to share this to you guys too...although you guys already watch it so many times.

So, how your 2013 look like?

Wish Well Wisher 

Oh...Happy Hew Year People! Hope you like your 2013 year and have a grand time in 2014

Winter! Snow! Holidays!

I know I had not write for a long time. To tell you the truth, I have no idea what to write all this past days, but don't get it wrong. I like to write to you guys because you are one of people that listens to me.

It's December and you know what that means. It's nearly Christmas. Okay, I don't celebrate Christmas, but I like the holiday cheer when I was at Denver. Man, every time I thought about Denver, I felt it like a lifetime ago, but in truth, it's about six months ago. That's fairly long. I felt like all the two years I had been living in Denver was a dream that came true. I felt like I never left Malaysia. 

Anyway, let's talk about Christmas. Or, actually...holidays. I know that are a lot of holidays celebrate in December. A lot...but I only remember Christmas. You know, every time when December hits United States, I could feel the anticipation. Of waiting. People decorate their house. The radios blasting every single Christmas music. The beautiful snow that fall down and shivers our spine. 

Ahh...the snow...One thing I like about snow was the beauty of it. So, beautiful and sparkly. I just want to stare at it all day. If I don't get cold first. I remember I was standing outside with my friend, Jordyn, because we were waiting for my father to pick us up. Then, it started snowing. Most people went inside and so, there are few people left outside. It was quiet, but not the kind of quiet that make you feel lonely. Jordyn shivers beside me, complaining about the cold,  while I stare in wonder at the snowflake that fall down on my jacket. The intricate pattern of the snowflake, the silence, the gently sound of wind...beautiful...just beautiful.

This is one of the time that I stay outside when it is snowing. Oh..I forgot...my crush was there too. Now, that make it more beautiful. The cold didn't bother me at that time.

You must be bored of me talking about snow. But, snow is nature. It is one thing that I think it is beautiful as the stars. I don't know...I don't know...

But, I know one thing. What's December without Christmas Eve? Or, What's December without school holidays? 

Hey, I know one song about winter. Peppermint winter from Owl City. Okay, if you guys don't like Owl City, fine. Just don't say it at my face. I wonder if Owl City mind if I post his song in this Decemberly post.

  

His description of winter was so good. Better than mine actually. 

Happy December! Happy Holidays!

Wish Well Wisher. 

Happy Birthday!

You know what, I should be a little bit open this time. So, I am in a sharing mood today and one of the things I want to share with you guys today is my best friend, Izzati.

Okay, I write this post today is to say Happy 15th Birthday to my best friend. I want to share my appreciation of her. She had been a best friend to me and well, I think it is good to say it out there.

 I didn't remember how did we become friends in the first place, but I clearly know it take a lot of problems and skirmishes to get there. It was pretty bleak when we started out to be friends and the friendship was hard to stay intact at that time. It take a lot of tears and shouting to get the friendship we had today. Oh yeah, I was nine to ten years old at that time. So, I was pretty immature at that time and I am not as understanding as I am today.

Izzati was like a twin of me. We always do things together and sometimes people do mistake us as twins even though there are a lot of physical differences that we both have. Izzati loves books just like me, but I know she sometimes lazy to read the descriptive part. One of her flaws, you might say. But, that doesn't broke our friendship. Even though she is quiet among her classmates (we are in different classes), I know from the deep of my heart she was braver than any other of her classmates. She write stories and poems sometimes and she is working on a story right now that I hope it will publish successfully.

You see, without her. I am simply nothing. People knows us when we're together and I bet if we do separated, people will have a hard time recognize us individually. She had open a new world for me. A world of books. Without her, I think I won't be reading as many books as right now. She showed me the real meaning of friendship since before I don't have a single speck of idea what friendship mean to me mentally. And without her, I won't be who I am today.

So, Izzati, if you were reading this today, then I shall say Happy Birthday. You are someone the world needs tomorrow when we grown up and all because from the bottom of my heart, you can change the world. If the world is to big for you, then maybe you can change Malaysia. Well, you changed me so you kind of have a power to change something. You had left a legacy for me to remember. Thank you for everything. We might have skirmishes sometimes, but hey, that's what friends are. 

Therefore, people of the world, appreciate your friends from time to time. Sometimes things that we take for granted will be gone in a blink of eye. Friends is something that well, bring you memories from some other place other than home. Real friends will be there for you when the rest of the world walk out. Friends are people you let them in your life. Someone who knows you better than anyone else other than your family of course. 

Happy Birthday my best friend. I hope you have good dreams, a good future and a good friendship.

From your petty friend, Wish Well Wisher

Secret Special Place

Do you have special place that you couldn't share with anyone?

My brother asked me why do people have a secret hideout place. It surprised me that my brother would have asked me that because well, my brother doesn't go into people emotions and something like that. I answer that people had escape route when something bad happen in their lives. It is a fantasy place for people, away from reality.

This reminds me of Ms. Allison class when I was in eighth grade. Ms. Allison asked us to write an essay about our special place. I don't understand what it mean at that time. So, well, the class kind of get yell at by her, but it doesn't make sense to me until well, now.

So, I am asking you, personally, what is your secret hideout place?

Basically, everybody have a secret special place. It is a private place for you and for you only. It is special and it reflects you and your life. Most of the time, not many people in your life can find this place, but when they did, it is either you let them in or they find a way in.

You see, this secret special hiding place of yours is well, not just a concrete place, but it could be abstract place too. Let's say...when someone is reading a book or doing something...they kind of in their own world, right? It could be describe as a secret hiding place too. Okay, here's another example...Things are bad downstairs and you are in your room, but it could not go away, so you close your ears and move to fantasy by listening to music. Or, you could just ran away and find another place to hide.

It doesn't matter where is it or what is it, it is something special that you have in yourself.

Since you don't know me very well, I think I should share it with you guys. My very special place where I always do my crying on in on my bed. My bed is always a place for me where I can write, read, listen to music, cry and well,anything that I did most of the time in the day. Sometimes, when it get to scratchy, I either read or listen to music.

Well, really I don't know why I write about this, but at least I write something.
Wish Well Wisher.

BOOKS! I LOVE THEM!

Okay, I have a contain excitement in me, so I think I better share or actually burst it with you guys.

Do you love to read books? Okay, it is stupid to ask, but I love reading them. You see, every time I delve into a book, I felt different. I felt I am going away from my reality. I felt like every single thing around me dissolve and I transport to a world of fantasy, the world of story. I felt like I am in the story, but not really there. I felt like I am in the conscious of the character mind, but the character doesn't involve me into it. 

So, you asked why I write this stuff.

I don't know why, but I think every time I finish a book, I felt this surge of excitement. I am excited that I finish it and found out what happen at last. But, there is a twinge of sadness because I am saying my goodbyes at the beautiful story. So, yes, I did finish the book. A book that I think it will be widely known after a couple of years later, the Hero of Olympus series. Maybe, this book is the reason why I am excited.

Yes, the book was fine. It has a very twist plot that I was kind of figure it out before the last pages of the book come. I will thoroughly recommend anyone to read this book. But, I will write thoroughly about this book and about Percy Jackson in another time in the other blog I have. It is in the links page.

Before I get to the part that I really want to tell you guys, I want to tell you something. If you are so smart and so attentive, then, you must know there are two authors in this blog. But, here is something that I should tell you. No, there are no two authors. Frankly, I will like to have two, but yeah, there were only one. There were two accounts. Eureka Seekers, the original one and well, the Google account. I will change from one account to another depends on my mood and if I am lazy on that day or what. But, I write this post on the behalf of me and my friends, Eureka Seekers.

My friends have a big shout out to books. So, I kind of thought, "Hey, maybe , I should write about books today" just out of blue. Books, to me, change me. You see, without books, I am freaking nobody. But, heck I am nobody in the first place. A very good reason I recline to stories that is not even fit the description of me. But, hey, it is a sweet adventure and I will never let a chance of adventure fly away. Books had built a big part of me. I cannot imagine myself someone who doesn't read books! I just can't. It is not me. 

Books change the way I think about the world. Mostly, those English books I had been reading. Sometimes I think, Malaysians books are so full of reality. Yeah, I know, it's fiction, but it always about the reality. Fantasy are scarce in Malaysia. Maybe, there is, but I am just not seeing it. English books makes me feel that anything can happen and when it happens, get ready, because it will be wild.

So, I am going to give a big shout out to the authors in the world. They had change me, certainly, a lot. I could have never be me now, if it weren't for their stories, their imaginations and their opinions. I am so grateful that the authors were born in this world. Without these creative people, the world would have descend into the world of darkness, the world without knowledge.

Whoa...I could stare this forever

So, tell me, what do you think about books? 

I really had a feeling that I write about this before, but well, like I care. :D

Happy November everybody!

Wish Well Wisher.

See the light over there?

At last, my brother found the computer mouse. Now, I can write stories in my room without any worries of other people. If only the room was a little bit colder.  I watched The Croods  just now and I could say 100 percent, it is a very good story. If you have not watched the movie The Croods yet, then please watch it.

If you have watched it, then you don’t need to read it. But, if you want to, then, please continue reading.

If you haven’t watched it and have no idea what it is about, then I give you the overview what is happening in the movie.

The movie was about a caveman family and with a help of a stranger running away from a disaster that strikes the land (Earthquakes, land splitting apart, you know those stuff.) The adventure they had changed the way the family thinks by the help of the curious girl, Eep, and the stranger, Guy. Guy is a modern day man like us, smart and idea person, while the Croods, the family’s name, well, a strong bulky people. This story, in my opinion, was a great family story for everybody who would love a story about the relationship in a family, relationship between father and a daughter and ideas, new, change. I really recommend to the people out there to watch it. It nearly brought me to tears.

This story was ought to be share in the whole wide world. This story teaches me about father’s love towards family and accepting things that are new that could be risky. And other things.

 I have told you guys about the father love before. But, here’s the thing I forgot to add. A father always protects the family no matter what. A father sometimes can bit busy, but in their hearts they love you all the way. They just don’t have time to tell to you guys how much he loves you.  Don’t forget to tell your father how much you love him as well.

Everybody could say that the main theme of this story was accepting new ideas. But, as you can see I put it after the father’s love. I don’t know why I write it that way, don’t ask me.  Change could be very difficult, right?  I understand that new and change can be very difficult to accept. I always had this feeling in me when something changes. I think the feeling was distraught or something I have no idea about. But, to me, I try my best to adapt changes. It is very hard, but you will get over with.

When the mother of the family explained to the dad, Grug, saying that she doesn’t want to hide anymore, I realized it was another lesson to be learned. I am asking you guys now. Are you afraid of something? Like life in general? Or something else? Then, don't be afraid. Try to be brave. You see, being scare and hide when a problem come up isn't the right way to solve a problem. Move forward. Follow the light. Maybe, you can’t see it, then, find it inside you. Do you have the hope to go on after your neglect story? Try to fly to Tomorrow.

It ain't easy. I get it. It is okay to have change. It is okay to be afraid. You see, you don't have brave without being scared.

Wish Well Wisher. 

Yourself = important, Don't mess around with it

So, if you look at this situation that I have here, can you tell me that I am lucky or not? I think your answer will make a choice of what perspective that you think of this entry today.

It was a beautiful Tuesday morning, when the air was not as humid and as hot as usual. I was walking with my friend to the auditorium when a teacher called me that if I want to go to Masjid Putra at Putrajaya. If you ever visited Malaysia, one of the places that you should visit was this place. It is a beautiful place to visit and it is one of Malaysian buildings that we always value.

Anyway, I don't really want to go because I went there like many times already and it is such in a short notice. I don't like short notices because it makes me panic and I felt like I cannot think what to do. The teacher keep insisting to come and they called my mom to tell her that I'm going, so I have to go. I don't really like leaving my friend alone, but she will be fine. But, I was asking myself, will I be fine?

Fortunately, my twin (the girl who has my name coincidentally) and a new girl who I make friends with on the first day she came to my school. So, I'm not totally alone. The program was religious and I realized it that I had been in one for a seriously long time. I learn new and good thing, but this program really did hit me. It reminds me about many things and I well...feel very aware what I had done in the past.

So, I am lucky or not?

Okay, I'm not going on about this. I know some of my audience are not Muslims, so I'm not going on about it to respect my Non-Muslims readers. If well, my audience today is Muslims, well, then I am truly sorry that I cannot share with you what I learn over there. But, what I want to share with you guys today was something that they teach me over there. Okay, I know you are started to think I am twisted, but this thing is worth to tell you guys.

One of the ustaz (that's what we called our man teachers) said about self. He said to take care of yourself and tried not to make yourself to be bad. He said not to harm yourself in anyway possible. He made a point there, but I think you guys were like, "Duh, I heard it many times." It is a trite expression you might say, but it is something you really have to delve deep more. You see, taking drugs and cut yourself with a knife doesn't make the hurt in your heart to go away. It just hurt yourself more. I know that no one cares, but no one is going to care for you.

Another thing that he also said that don't make yourself feel better by hurting other people. I know you're mad and angry at the whole world, but please and seriously, people around you doesn't done anything to you. Well, if it's for a revenge, then it is a entirely different story. Anyway, DON'T BULLY people is bad and makes you bad and also can lead you to suicidal.
 Who loves owl city?
Here's a song for Owl City about bullying even though I kind of not sure about that... But listen

Take care yourself.
By your faithful friend, maybe,
Wish Well Wisher

Do you know this guy?

Hey, do you guys ever heard of Markiplier?

If you guys like to watch someone funny play some horror games, then find him in YouTube.

Here's a video about him that he did. Although you don't deserve his thanks, it gives you a great overview about him. Mind you, I only know this video yesterday by the help of my brother. I think that he deserves to be mention in my blog.

I know Markiplier since I moved back to Malaysia on June 2013. To me, at that time, I was happy to be home at last, but I felt longing to watch some United States shows. Then, one day, my brother show me this video about Markiplier playing "The Last of Us." If you want to know more about it, then visit here :How I found the Last of Us 

So through this, I found out who is Markiplier and what his profession is, but it wasn't until yesterday I found out who he really was. At first, I thought. well, "he just wasting his life making this video, but not making any money, but I don't care anyway because his videos are funny," something like that. But, then I heard how he promote people to give donation for this charity that I forgot. So, I think, "Well, at least he does good deals in his life."

You know, every time I saw his other videos, not the one up there, I saw a person who is very happy with his life. If you saw someone happy, you kind of think that well, he must be happy forever or something. But, happy forever doesn't exist in this world. When I saw the video up there, I felt guilty for judging him too soon. I never thought that he came up of the ashes of a hard life. The video up there hit me that the person that I think it is, is not what it seems to be. It also hit me that even though he doesn't get much money on his chosen profession, at least he is happy. Anyway he had a hard life before, so he deserved this kind of chance to be happy.

I think that this guy is a value to be in my blog because well, it make me realize that doing something that you like actually makes you felt happy even though it did not bring a lot of money. Also, doing something that you like sometimes bring the escape from the depressing reality. So, if you ever felt any sadness in you, don't moan on it. Do something that well, take your mind of it then, take action.

Well, here's some laughter for you guys. It is one of the videos that I like from Markiplier.

If you actually brave enough to watch this, then watch.
You know what, I'm going to subscribe to this guy even though I watch his videos on my brother's account. Subscribe him if you think his videos are funny.

Happy October everybody and PMR students, don't PANIC!
Wish Well Wisher.

The girl who could fly :)

If you guys love to read books or novels, you guys have to read this book.

So, it was a very hot day at my friend's home as I waited for my mom to pick me up. Then, my friend went upstairs to get books she wanted me to read. One of the book was titled, The Girl Who Could Fly by Victoria Forester.

The story was about a nine-year-old girl who had floating abilities since she was a baby. Flying abilities came later when she started to practice how to fly. Her flying abilities made her mother worried and her father numb, so the parents home-schooled her. Well, you have to noticed this part, she live in the countryside where the population is about ninety people. That is not a lot and so, being different in ninety people that is the same is actually make you looks a lot and very different.
To make the long story short, the girl went to an insane institute (Believe me, it is a very insane. They even called themselves insane) where the faculty tried to turn something abnormal to normal.

Read the book if you want more details of the story. I really recommend it to the people who loves adventure rebellious book and to the people who had lost hope on their lives. This book will greatly bring you back on the feet.

The thing is, the book shows how a young girl can do such a big difference in this world. She turns something bad (the institute) into something good (read the book!). This high-spirited girl shows love and compassion to the other people even though there is an only chance for her to escape. Even though she is different and the whole world was like "Screw you, I am going to change you so you could be like me," she fought hard and she never stop fighting until the end. She follows her dream and tried to blossoms someone else dream, so that they can achieve it too.

Amazing for a such a young girl. I really wonder who has that kind of spirit. Anyway, accepting differences could be hard and sometimes differences could hurt you or even the people around you. It is sometimes hurt to be you but, who would you want to be then?

About the people around you that tried to make you normal like them, well, maybe they have real sadness in their hearts that whenever they see you they felt hurt inside because of maybe, something they had done in the past. You don't know the other people past so don't blame them if they start being mean or somewhat. Hear this (or actually read it) : Don't blame when something bad happen. Take it as a lesson and move on.

I think I write to much today.
Anyway, happy September.
Wish Well Wisher.

Dreams and disaster

You never too old to set another goal or a dream a new dream- C. S. Lewis

It was gym and I was standing alone when I overheard some people talking. I glance at them and saw pictures and writings in a book. The pictures are beautiful and the script writing...I bet it is better than mine. The owner of the book was a girl, showing her works to her friends. She is not boasting apparently. I think she was working on it when someone said, "Hey, look at that!"

With an awe, someone ask her, "What you are going to be when you grow up?"

I really should have kept my mouth shut, but I am stupid and childish. I shouted enthusiastically, "A journalist!"

Then, the girl look at me weirdly. Suddenly, I realized my stupid action and tried to hid my face. I am so stupid. But, I saw the girl's eye flicker and she smile. She raised her fist and I know instantly. I fist bum her. 

"Yes, I want to be a journalist, but my father want me to be something else," she said. I detect the sadness in her voice.

Well, it may look imaginative but no, this really happen at my school. I felt so sad for her, you know. She had a broken dream. A dream that could never be achieved because of her father. She has the right to be what she want to be. 

Apparently, Malaysia doesn't have a lot of choices, you see. The schools are built to make students become millionaires, businessmen, doctors, and you know, those people who get big bucks and great reputation. The schools here doesn't built for creative minds and for students who wants to be what they wanted to be or want to do. 

I'm broken heart, you see. I see too many sad faces here. I see too many broken dreamers, too many forceful dreams, too many give up people. I cannot stand it. I wish they could see light and see how they can achieved their dreams. Their real dreams, not parent's dreams.

Here's  a youtube video for you guys to hear. He is my favorite!

                                     

US people, be thankful of your education. Some people here doesn't get education at all.

Peace out,

Wish Well Wisher.

What should we do?

About right now more than 3000 people are dead in Egypt.
Not like you guys don't know but it is good to tell what had been told again and again. For me, at least. This fact is been told in the worldwide news and must have show in your Facebook pages. Is it true for you guys? It is true for me.

I felt like this thing kept happening. You know, killing people. Like it had been there since we came to Earth. You heard people kill this and that. People kill animals, the Earth, the species and themselves. If you have heart, you will feel pity. But, as it the news goes by, it slowly wane away. Soon, you forget and life goes on.
Right? Is it true for you?

So, about those people who are dead in Egypt, what are you going to do about it?
Nothing as usual. Wait until the news goes by. Felt pity for them. Give a little bit of money to send to the refugees.
Kind of right?
Well, I felt like that. My truth, really. To me, whoever die in Egypt is in for a treat because they will have a safe passage to heaven. This is my opinion and you don't need to follow it. You guys can think whatever you guys want. Anyway, my real reason of writing this is not about religion.
Of course, many people die in Egypt. But, what about the people in other parts of the world? As far as I know, there are people in Africa and India dying right now because of malnutrition, diseases and of course, war. Not like the news care.
Do you care?

A reminder for all of us to care for the world for once. And about the government killing its own people in Egypt, a stupid act, I say. The government must be son of bitches to kill their own people. And, both sides are the same religion right? Same like Syria, killing people who had the same religion as their own. Stupid, I say.

I don't blame the news about  them don't report the people who had died because of malnutrition or stuff like that. It is their decency to report what is important.
Sometimes I felt like I write stupid things too.
Wish Well Wisher.    

Without rain

Have you ever questioned the rain?
Questioned why it come?
Questioned why it goes?
Questioned what it brings?
Questioned why it brings?

Oh, rain,
rain that comes and goes,
rain that brings harvest and plants,
rain that brings flood and kill your love ones,
You have questioned the mankind,
The mankind ask why and how,
The mankind ask what and now.

True, rain is powerful,
True, rain is a killer,
But, mankind, oh mankind,
rain had given us many.
How can we survive without rain?
Without rain,
You die or suffer,
Without rain,
You won't exist in this world,
And, felt love,
given by the rain.

So, be thankful.

Sincerely,
Wish Well Wisher